Skip to main content

Why we take things EASY?

Labels:
I guess most of us like to take things easy. Children do too.  So you can often see them shirking from taking the tough way. But many times they take up the tough way. I guess the shirking happens more in tasks determined as important by us (eg: taking a bath). Obviously, initiative happens in things that they like.

If this is how it is, then would it make sense for us to bring things to children in such a way that they like, and if they don't, then not expect it.

So here is a situation:
A child instead of writing a report on the trip he just came from, shares umpteen details with her friends.
Is she in the comfort zone or the Challenging zone? What can we, as parents, do about it?

Share your thoughts in Whatsapp. If you are lost regarding the zones, chances are you missed attending the first session - do catch up on the recording or read a small note below: 

Lev Vygotsky's Theory of proximal development.

The three zones  (comfort, challenge and frustration) which Vygotsky talked about, gives us perspective on how and when to facilitate the child.
The premise is that learning primarily happens when the learner is in the challenge/learning zone.
However many times we end up either rescuing the child who is in the frustration zone, or we get impatient with the child in the comfort zone.
A simpler approach is to nudge the child using various strategies. When I can nudge the child into the adjoining zone of challenge/learning (from frustration or from comfort) then why would I bother throwing the child (from comfort to frustration) or rescuing the child (from frustration to comfort).

In any case, in the comfort zone, the child rarely learns anything (Since he/she is not doing anything new)
nor in the frustration zone where I am not ready to do anything new.
Successful Video games and movies, as an example, do this very well - keeping me in the just-enough-challenge zone. If it is too easy or too predictable, it's boring. If it's too tough or complicated we give up. They give just the right amount of excitement.

When working with children, in many cases children are able to do stuff themselves. In those cases, I, as an adult around, would shut up.
In other cases, maybe, I would be better off thinking, "In what different ways I can play a role so that the child is able to enjoy this challenging zone. Maybe I can be a co-doer, or an assistant, or an observer, a videographer or ...
When playing Badminton or TT (in which I am good at) with young children, I play with my (weaker) left hand. This ensures that I am not bored and they are not outplayed (frustrated) - both of us enjoy the game in our respective challenge zone.

#en

Comments

  1. Pavz25 October 2020 at 08:14

    Today my 6 year old daughter was looking for a stamp that she kept on her table but could not find it where she put. She asked me if I could help her find it right away without trying to search. I did not want to help her as I felt she did not even try to look for it. I said I'm sorry I can't help you. I realized I need to probably give her a nudge. So I asked her where she put it for which she replied, here on this table. I said, may be you should look in and around the table first. She was frustrated that I rejected to help her and kept muttering how I was not helpful. I had to be calm and remind myself that she is in frustration zone and I have to wait a little longer. This went on for another 15 minutes or so. I just sat there reading my book. She was grumpy for a while and could not find. I was doubtful if I had to intervene but still continued to stay away. The eureka moment came and she showed me proudly after her search of 20-25 mins. I think I witnessed her move from frustration zone to learning zone and she had a practice of some important skills like patience, determination to search etc and I think she also realized that being grumpy she could not find it as I witnessed her attitude change.
    For me the learning was, it may seem hard to not intervene as parents but I think real learning comes if left to deal themselves and for all we know it can just be a speck in their learning journey.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aditi and Ratnesh25 October 2020 at 16:31

    Yes Pavz, Sometimes all they need is us to leave them to figure out their zones, provided we are aware of their zones.
    Personally I think when she asked for your help she was not in frustration zone, she was merely in her challenge zone and maybe over time she has got used to people helping her out when she is in challenge zone.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Don't like TRUST

Dear Mummy and Papa Trust is such a big problem. I don't like it. Please do not trust me. When you say you trust me, this puts pressure on me. I don't like trust. You say you trust that I will keep my word. But many times I am not able to. Sometimes because I gave that promise because you wanted me to (and I didn't really want to) - like the promise of not eating that chocolate before dinner. Then you said that I had broken your trust. I don't like trust. You say you trust that I will not tell lies. But many times, when I'm simply scared to get a scolding, I tell lies. I was scared when I did not complete the project so I told that my teacher liked my work. Then you saw my diary and teacher's note and you said that I had broken your trust. I don't like trust. You say you trust that I will live up to your expectations. But the other day when i was teasing my friend badly, you said I had broken your trust because I did not behave properly while you expected me...
Post a Comment
Read more

[Jagriti] Who is RESPONSIBLE ??

Excerpt from a book by OSHO - Rajneesh (Autobiography of a spiritually incorrect mystic ) The wise man wants you only to have insight into things so that you have your own light. But you don't want insight, you want clear-cut instructions. You don't want to see yourself, you want to be guided. You don't want to accept your responsibility towards yourself; you want to throw the whole responsibility on the shoulders of the master, on the shoulders of the wise man. Then you feel at ease. Now he is responsible; if something goes wrong, he is responsible. And everything is going to be wrong, because unless you take your responsibility nothing is ever going to be right. Nobody can put you right except you yourself. A real religious person is born the moment you accept your responsibility for yourself, the moment you say, "Whatsoever I am is my choice—not of the past but of the present. It is my choice of this moment, and if I want to change it I am absolutely free to change ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Observing is Learning.

A man who wants to learn ZEN gets redirected to a small tea shop that an elderly lady runs. He goes and asks her, "Can you teach me Zen?" The elderly lady, in response, SLAPS him hard. Shocked, the man runs aways only to come back the next day, disguised, just to find out why she slapped him. He quietly sits in one corner of her shop, afraid that he may get slapped again. As he sits there, he observes . He observes how she makes the tea, how she serves her customers and how her whole shop is and he observes every little detail about this lady and her tea shop and thereby he learns  ZEN. When somebody tells us that he or she wants to learn about children or how to facilitate them, we recommend three things you must do and those are: Observe  Observe     Observe   Most of what we have learned about children has actually come about because we observed and are still observing and learning. Which is why when people want to learn from us, we gently, but firmly turn them to learn fr...
1 comment
Read more