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[Jagriti] Letter about Honesty

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Dear Honest People

I am struggling to understand honesty, So I need your help.
Sometimes people say to me that I am being dishonest. But
I think that I am being honest. I am being honest to my needs
and wants. I, according to what I need, share whatever will
fulfill my needs/wants. Maybe what I am saying is not honest
to your needs, but it is honest to my needs/wants.


The other day I called an aunt of mine and I asked, "How are
you?" and she replied, "Fine". But she was not actually fine.
Her Migraines migraines have been active recently. Her 
washing machine was not working properly. Her son was
having some problems in his college, etc. Obviously she did not
share her lists of problems with me. She said, "Fine". In a way
she was being honest to her desire of not burdening me with
her problems.

Few years back, in my school, the teacher talked about the
sun rising in the east. But then recently I figured out that the
sun does not rise anywhere, it is our earth that keeps going
round and round the sun. I guess my earlier teacher was just
being honest in fulfilling her need to create a convention of
directions and give vocabulary to what we see (and not
necessarily the reality).

Yesterday my mom asked, "Have you done your homework?"
and I said "Yes".
I think I was being honest. One, I was honest to my assessment
that this much homework was enough. Two, I was honest to
my 'want' of not doing more homework. I know I had not done
all that the teacher had told us to do, but then is honesty
about meeting other people's requirements or my own needs?

I think I am never perfectly honest nor perfectly dishonest.
I also think I need not be so. I think I will always be moving
somewhere between these two extremes, on the continuum of
honesty. 

I think when I am aware of where I am on this
honesty continuum and why am I am there and how is it it is
affecting me and others and the consequences of my being
there, then it's alright. 

I think when I am not aware, I will learn something or other
by being unaware too, so that is also okay. 

Also, the other day when I asked my friend for his basketball
he informed me that it was deflated. Just 5min five minutes
later, I see his sister playing with the ball. First, I was hurt
that he is being dishonest to me. Little later, I thought
that he was honest to his need of not having to follow up with
me to get his ball back. When I thought of his intentions, I felt
some peace within me, as I understood his needs (though I still
wanted the ball).

So please help me to understand this whole business of
honesty and dishonesty when we are neither actually honest
or dishonest at any time . We are just genuine people
with genuine needs and wants and have many different ways
of fulfilling them.

Tell me honestly.
Yours truly!
-----------------------------------------------------------

Do share your thoughts in whatsapp
Aditi-Ratnesh  (Ph: +91-98450-45833)
Aarohi is an Open Learning Community for learners of all ages: Open to all kinds of interests, abilities, styles and content areas. Learning by doing what one wants, how one wants, and self reflection. Community to co-live, co-learn and co-support each other. Aarohi's Campus is in a village near Hosur in Tamil Nadu (55km fm Bangalore).
Open learning group on Telegram:  https://t.me/joinchat/ClfHiRRCYALLpfOhTWN_Yw
Aarohi Website: https://aarohilife.org

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