[Jagriti] Nelson Zink on FEAR

Nelson Zink on fear - taken from his book "The Structure of Delight"

Derry said, "

Child, sometimes when we think bad things are gonna happen we git scared. Nevertheless, at those times, if you notice careful like, it's not them events that scares the wits out of us. What we think them events is gonna lead to, is what scares the wits out of us. 

If a person was walkin' along a mountain trail you might hear a big loud crash and look up to see big ' boulders rollin' down the hillside toward you. Do you think the sight of them big ol' boulders rollin' toward you is what scares you?" Tilting her head to one side, she kept a sharp eye on Noom to see if he was following what she was explaining. "Oh no, it's them head pictures of our bodies bein' all broken that frightens us. Them tumblin' rocks are already known about and accepted, the pain of injury is what we fear. If we git banged by them fallin' rocks, then that is accepted and our head races to picture what our injuries might bring. We git to thinkin' that we might die and we git real scared. Again, it's somethin' that we anticipate. 

We only fear what's in the future and what's in the future can only be pictured in our head, can only be anticipated. We're scared of what we imagine will happen, not what has already happened. There is nothin' to fear in this world, Child. What is known ain't feared, folks can only fear the unknown, the imagined, the pictured. 

Our fears are of our own makin'. Often we're real wrong about what's gonna happen. If you doubt your skills and judgement, if you doubt your ability to git by in most situations then you begin to fear your future. Scaredy cat like. Then we begin to imagine what We can't do, not what we can. We git to thinkin' on them skills which aren't around for us and the knowin' that plumb escapes us. We think we know what we lack and picture that lack." 

In that instant," Derry said snapping her fingers-, "we lose whatever skills and abilities we do have and are reduced to bein' helpless. That's the way the future becomes even more threatenin'. It's kind of like them Chinese puzzle boxes; there ain't no fear in what has happened or what is happenin' only instead what will happen. When I tend to folks I can't change what has happened or what is happenin', but, Lordy, can I change what they think is gonna to happen." 

"Child, don't say what you can't do. It's of no use, it don't exist," she continued shaking her head. "Armed with what you can't do, tomorrow will be real scary. Instead, picture what you can do, what skills you got now. And finally imagine what you'd like to be able to do. That's where hope lies. 

Dwellin' on what you can't do leads to fear, and knowin' what you can do brings courage. Picturin' what you would like to be able to do rekindles hope. And with hope, learnin' is easy. Without hope, learnin' is like bein' kicked in the head by a mule, real painful like. 

Rememberin' our skills and abilities brings us joy, for they are our wealth. Can you tie your shoes?"
Noom was always surprised at these simple little questions at the end of Derry's monologues. "Well yes, I guess. Sure." 

"Then you might begin picturin' what else you might learn to tie and untie. Always begin with what you can do. What you can't do ain't of no use at all." 

"But tyin' my shoes isn't hard," young Noom argued. 

The tiny old lady then smiled sweetly and continued softly. "Maybe not, just tell me, how many ways do you regularly tie your shoes? What you dwell on creates who you are. If you dwell on what you can't do then you turn into an awful mess. Everyone who is alive can do somethin'. And the somethin' we can do now is git back to old Boon-doggle, he's probably gettin' impatient for supper." 

Picturin' was for Derry a mighty activity.